Dan’s Space on the Web

Since I’m on holiday with nothing much to do, I’ve been checking out the weekly Straits Times feature “Digital Life”. While sometimes most of the articles are old news (hey, can’t blame a weekly feature when the subject is something that changes everyday), it’s still worth a flip through to learn what’s happening on the local Singapore scene.

Anyway, so today’s Digital Life had a segment on “Future Phones”, where they got a few people to say what they want in cellphones of the future. About half of them are ok – things like pedometers, holographic displays, but the other half is… simply silly. Well then, without further ado, here are some silly suggestions for the cellphones of the future.
note: the number at the end of each quote is the age of the person who suggested it.

“The ability to get money from your phone, just like an ATM!” (14)
- Uh…where’s the money going to come from? Well I don’t blame him, the kid’s only 14, so fair enough.

“I want a fully extendable mirror with my phone. Most phones’ mirrors are all really small and tiny.”
- why would you need this? Perhaps to look around corners while playing 007, or for girls to check their makeup, I guess.. except that the person to suggest this WAS AN 18 YEAR OLD GUY.

“I want a portable umbrella with my phone because I am always forgetting to bring my umbrella out!” (20)
- I’m really not sure if you can squeeze/fold an umbrella down to the size of a cellphone.

“A handbag that doubles as a phone – a handphone handbag.” (16)
- I wonder if she realizes that cellphones, as their name implies, are meant to be tiny.

“A handphone pencil case. So I can just bring it to school and use it both as a pencil case and as a phone.” (15)
- Same as the above. There’s usually a reason why certain things are kept separate..

And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the best suggestion for phones of the future.

“I lost my phone…I hope there will be a built-in snake in lost phones that will come out and bite the person who has taken the lost phone.” (16)
- When I read the first part, I thought he/she was going to suggest a tracking device. But no, it has to be a snake that will bite the naughty thief. Retribution, eh? A good idea, though – the thief would never expect a FRICKIN SNAKE TO JUMP OUT OF A CELLPHONE.
- Snakes can’t be “built-in”.
- Have fun feeding your snake – dead snakes don’t bite.

I’m pretty sure that most of these were a joke, especially the last one. I really hope they are, if not we have a serious problem. Granted, these suggestions weren’t from grown men and women, but they still are in at least secondary school.